Grace v Grief

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Calling

The Cycle of Grief

The Cycle of Grace

Calling

It is the sense of being called which gives us the only adequate basis for effective ministry, the true experience of:

Identity
Security
Significance

This was the foundation upon which Jesus' own ministry rested.

Identity — You are my Son
Security — I am pleased with You
Significance — You have an important job to do

Jesus' ministered from this experience of Identity, Security and Significance.

His confidence came from a clear knowledge of his call (cf. John 13:3).

We need to check whether we are in the Cycle of Grief or the Cycle of Grace.

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The Cycle of Grief

Achievement — We achieve to provide ourselves with an identity
Significance — Our sense of significance is dependent on what we achieve, so we rush on
Sustenance — We are driven to achieve more to make ourselves acceptable to others and ourselves
Acceptance — The sense of acceptance is temporary and fragile, so we go round the cycle once again

The key feature of life in this cycle is that we are ministering for acceptance/approval rather than from it.
God, and others, will only approve of us if we do a good job.
We can become jealous and resentful of others who appear (to us) to be doing a better job.
Our identity is somehow tied up with performance; criticism strikes at the root of our sense of self-worth.
We are self-reliant and self-centred and lose any real sense of perspective.
Our spiritual life is often crippled by life in this cycle.

Various factors serve to immerse us in the Cycle of Grief. We are often 'driven' by strong inner urges which we’ve picked up during formative times in our lives. These may include e.g.

Only the perfect is good enough; you could always do better.
What others think of you is the most important thing; always try to please others.
Do not ever admit to any weakness; always act as if everything was fine and as if you are well able to cope.
Do not admit to any failure; only those who succeed matter to God and to others.

The Cycle of Grace

Acceptance — Beloved: Unconditional Grace; Matthew 3:17; Ephesians 2:4-5
Sustenance — Relationship: Constantly renewed through dependence on God; Matthew 17:5; Ephesians 2:7
Significance — Calling: Sense of Significance; John 13:3; Ephesians 2:6
Achievement — Work Complete: Passionate Service/Ministry; John 17; Ephesians 4:10

Knowing His acceptance depends not on our achievements but on the saving love of God alone.

It's this acceptance God wants us to Know and Experience

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The Nature of Our Calling (John 15:1-20)

Called to be With Jesus (John 15:4)

Jesus' primary model for leadership is that of discipleship. Those whom He called to lead He first called to follow Him and to enter into a lifelong relationship with Him. In so doing He was inviting them to do nothing more than He Himself was doing; Jesus learned from the Father and did only what He saw His father doing. Every effective leader is also an willing follower and never seeks to be anything else (Mark 1:17).

Chosen By Jesus (John 15:16)

His choice of us predates any decision we have taken to be with Him. He chooses us not because we have proved ourselves already nor because we are in any way impressive (Mark 2:13-17).

Called to be Friends of Jesus (John 15:14-15)

Friendship implies intimacy, trust, affection and loyalty. We are not merely slaves, employees or associates. Rather we are let into the deepest secrets of the heart of Jesus. Jesus has poured out His love upon us and longs us to experience it (John 15:9). He now calls us friends.

Called to Obey (John 15:10)

Following implies imitating. Discipleship is not a leisure activity. Christian service including leadership is not like any other voluntary service, it involves loving others in a sacrificial and preferential way (John 15:12-13).

Called to be Fruitful (John 15:1-8)

Fruitfulness is very different from success, and nowhere are we called to be successful. There is an expectation that all disciples will be fruitful (John 15:8). Fruitfulness depends upon our remaining in the Vine. He is the only one who can ultimately produce fruit. This is completely liberating (cf. 2 Corinthians 4:1,7,16). Fruitfulness has far more to do with growth in our character than with growth in our effectiveness in serving/leading. Character is shaped through our loving obedience. Obedience is doing what Jesus told us to do. However, we are not to choose character over spiritual power — together they reveal the way.

Called to Testing (John 15:18-20)

We must not be unsettled by the experience of hardship, difficulty or, indeed, outright opposition. Jesus was able to endure suffering and, indeed, to pray for those who executed Him precisely because of His confidence in His calling, identity and destiny. Nothing will shake us if we are properly rooted in our sense of who Jesus is and who we are in Him (2 Corinthians 4:16).

In which cycle do you live most of the time? Score yourself on the scale below where 1 is entirely in the grief cycle and 10 is entirely in the cycle of grace.

Grief 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Grace

Are you aware of any significant influences, events or experiences which tend to push you into the Cycle of Grief? e.g. values you imbibed at a formative time in life, painful experiences which shaped you negatively.
Spend time meditating on John 15:1-20. Allow God to speak to you through it and note down what He says. Allow His light to penetrate the recesses of your life.
Read the story of Gideon in Judges 6-7. What does this teach us about the nature of God's call, and the way in which the experience of being called by God enables us to be equipped and changed?

For His Kingdom

On Earth as it is in Heaven

Grace v Grief

Calling

The Cycle of Grief

The Cycle of Grace